Psychology

How to depress yourself in 5 steps

By: Abd El-Aziz Fouda, ​25/8/2016

1. Listen to music

It helps a lot. It gets you in the mood directly without struggles but try to listen mostly to depressing music.

2. Don’t talk to people

Just take a corner and enjoy your depression. Just concentrate and get yourself in the mood before someone start talking to you.
3. When someone asks you what’s wrong, just answer with “mafeesh” Don’t talk it out. It’ll make you less depressed and you just passed through two steps, don’t give up now.
4. Overthink about anything like how your mom didn’t cook your favorite food today or how people don’t like you, how you failed in life or how can someone possibly overtake your car while driving or how your order of pizza came late. You can come up with more than that, trust me. 

5. Wonder why some people are not in your life anymore

Remember how your life is too fucked up for anyone to stay in it, remind yourself with the tiny details that you made to make them leave and how you made their life worse. 
Congratulations you are now officially depressed and hating on your life. Just stop what’s important and let your life stop here.
PS: if you take this as a motivational speech and an encouragement for being in despair, you should read it again.

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